I’ve been exercising for over ten years. It’s taken me a while to get to where I am and I’ve faced many hurdles. My exercise has certainly evolved over the years, it’s not the seemless reps that I performed when I was younger. Recently though, about a week ago, I decided I need a break. Not a few days off or a week break— until further notice. I’ve tried this before, specifically last year while I lived in Indiana. It didn’t work so well, I cracked after a week. It may sound odd to someone who may find exercise difficult, tedious or a complete waste of time but to a person who has spent many years of their life exercising regularly to just stop altogether is daunting. I’m already feeling my muscles devolve and settle onto my bones and joints. I’m waking up to a stiff neck and sore back most days.
So why am I doing this? Like Dennis Quaid’s character in The Rookie says, “There’s never just one reason.” I’ve hit a wall, mentally. There are many things on my plate. Now this may seem like I’m giving up, I’m quitting, but the worst thing you can do (in anything) in life is just spin your wheels. That’s where I’ve found myself. And longer than I should have waited, this is long over due. I hope I’m able to hold off, I may very well break under the pressure.
The other reason I’m taking a hiatus is so I can put all my eggs in one basket. My energy isn’t being directed anywhere, it just has me walking in circles. I’m putting all of my attention onto something that isn’t serving and also distracting me from being where I need to be. “If you don’t play nice, the toys will be taken away from you.” And so that’s what I did.
I need to get my life in order. I need to pick myself up and start walking. That’s what I hope to do. If you can, imagine making a bed that looks nice but you’ve never looked under the mattress. Perhaps there’s something in your life that you need to take a break from. If something isn’t serving you, it’s time to reevaluate your values. I’d rather not exercise and progress my life than exercise and not progress my life. There’s nothing worse than wasting your time. Your time (and energy) is other people’s time and energy. If it’s being wasted or isn’t running at the best possible performance then everyone is getting cheated. Don’t cheat yourself. Lift up the mattress, clean out the debris or fix the spring and then put the covers back over it.
I will exercise again and when I do, it must be better. I must have a clear head and have my head in the game. If my mind isn’t completely in it then I can’t put out one hundred ten percent and progress forward. And if I can’t progress forward, then I’m only cheating myself.